Uphill Battle

I've had an amazing summer. I can't even begin to express how much the Lord has moved in my life this summer. He had me at the beach all summer, for a reason. I was there to learn more about Him and proclaim His name to the people that vacation there. I learned so much about my King while I was there. Some awesome decisions have been made in my life as well in others. The main reason I'm on here is asking for prayer. Ever since Jan. of this year, when I fully gave my life over to Christ, I believe that my life has been and uphill climb on a steep cliff. I was in the valley looking up at the wonders of freedom and what He could offer me. Janurary 12 is when the Lord rescued me from that valley, I had been trapped there for seven years of my life. He came like a theif i n the night and captured me. He placed me to the rock and I began to climb reaching Him step by step. My goal is to fully reach Him, although I know its not possible to reach Him until we actually are brought into His prescence but I strive to live as right as I possiblly can.

What do I need prayer about?? you ask. Well, in life we are never perfect and I know that I will miss a step or two in a certain points. I believe God is testing me through those things to truely wanting me to rely totally on Him for everything. He knows that.  I want to be rid of that sin in my life that I'm dealing with at the current moment. For a while I was going good but then I feel short and I quickly repented and moved on, but as soon as I came back from this awesome summer, I fell back into old habits and I believe that there isnt where He wants me. I am just decending the moutaintop high and I shouldnt be doing that. I need to get back up there, but anyway, I feel like I've fallen all the way back down. I'm not in the valley but im close to it. I'm not at the dept where I was. During that time in my life, I didn't care what He thought I was me and I was living my life. I didn't like to have to submit to a God that I couldn't see or that had never made an effort to be there. He was there and I just didn't see it, my eyes were blinded to it. I am thankful that He brought me out of that and opened my eyes. I was blind for seven years of my life and Christ 'spit in my eyes' and I could see again. Things went on from there and I began my climb.

I thought that no one could take me down, and then the devil started to mess with me and try to knock me down. It shows how weak I am, to let him get to me like that and as an end result I slipped but caught my grip. I continued to climb and then I again felt myself slip. That lead me to falling all the way down back to the bottom. Just as I was about to fall off I grabed ahold of the rock, I believe thats where I've been for a while and I try to fix it but I always end up that way. :(  I get mad at myself. uhhh I always beat myself up about it because I have no desire to be there again, but I can't seem to get past these things. Uhh flesh I hate you.

I need to realize that I can't do it on my own. I need help. I have the best 'rock climbing instructor ever' Jesus. :) haha its cheezy I know but roll with me. All I have to do is call out for Him to help me and He will. He is right there by my side coaching me on towards my goal. Far to often do I rely on myself to get me through things and it always fails. "Watch and Pray, LEST YOU fall into TEMPTATION. When I conflicted or pressured to do things I know are wrong all I have to do is pray. So I ask you to pray for me as I'm in this part of my life spiritually. Thanks :) Matt.