Of the World?

I've been back from the beach for about 2 weeks. The devil thinks he is clever because he is has tried and has gotten me to fall back and struggle with past sins. Throughout all of this, I have remained relying on God, to move and I know its only by the Spirit that can change my heart, but I also need to put in some pratical time, I understand that God works but it takes a little effort. Yes, relying on Christ is what I need at the moment but I need to meet Him halfway. I need to remind myself of the Gospel everyday, without that I fall. I need to remind myself that I am a sinner that is bound for Hell on my own in my flesh. I have no hope, but the good news is that God gave that to me, by sending His son to take on the sin of the world. I never really stop and meditate on that and its a convicting thing for me, do I dwell on the cross and the meaning of it? Do I even desire to Love Christ like I say I do?

Romans 12:2 states "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the perfect will of God." The question then becomes Am I friend of the world or am I a friend of God. In scripture it says that if we love God we must become enemies of the world. My campus leader in Campus Outreach put it the other night in a question "why is it hard to live with a kingdom mindset all the time?" I replied that most people believe that this life is all about getting what YOU want, and being the best at whatever you do, its a survival of the fittest aspect of it. What we pay attention to the most and what we invest our time in explains where our heart is, and where our motives are. If its anything other than God it is sin.

I have been convicted of this in my own life, my passion has been in my sin and pleasures of this world and what can I get out of certain things. My affections havent been set on Christ, who I say that I love. I havent been getting in the word like I should, and growing deeper in my walk since coming back and have been turning back to lust and the things that go with it. I know its where God has called me to be at the moment and I'm okay with that because He is making me stronger and I've seen that evident in my life and I know that there is coming a day when I will be totally free from the grips of porn and all the things that are attached to it. I ask for your prayers as I continue the fight, I believe that I have been losing the fight because I dont have the trust in God like I should. I sometimes question why I go through what I do because it seems to always hurt me and leave me in a deeper pit and I believe that I havent had any backing from others in prayer, so I covet those as I continue the fight.

I believe that God is changing my heart even now, because now I reconize that its a problem when a while ago I didn't. I believe im on the hill about to cresent the hill and never looking back to where Ive been, its been an awesome journey so far and I look forward to whats to come and what He does in my life, this coming school year. Again I covet your prayers on my behalf.

Pray that I : would be reminded of the Gospel daily. 2) know when Im feeling temptation to escape it and go somewhere else. 3) rely on God for everything and to get me past this.

thanks Matt