Break into Me

I have been to the depths of the sea
I have climbed to the top of the tallest tree.
I've scaled to the tops of mountains.
I've even seen the geyser fountains.

And I've come back with nothing......

I've searched for you, I have sought you out.
I want to see you beyond any doubt.
Father my heart is jealous for you
Nothing will ever change my love for you.

And Still I am without nothing......

I lift my hands and begin to cry out:
Father guide me throughout, fill me and make me whole.
Break into me and clease my soul.
Your All I Need, Your All I Need Jesus.

My Heart yearns for you, for your embrace.
Thank you for bestoing Grace... upon a sinner like me.


Heal me like you never have before Jesus <3 Your All I Need <3 Grip My Heart and give me a passion for You <3 Bring embinding Jesus, God break into the Hard Hearted. To all who have been broken, show me your love and compassion Father. Break into me.... Speak to me....

Dirty and Left Out

I am in love with the band called "The Almost". I just have recently gotten into them alot more. But they have a song called "dirty and left out". Some of the lyrics say "I've been dirter than you wanna know" "I've left earlier than you wanna know" To me that represents where I was and sometimes still am. You see.... God created me, you, everything here.. We fell short of His standard that He has set for us, His creation. That fully seperated us from His love, we completly lost His trust, we had no hope, BUT in steps the son, Jesus Christ, in all His majestic being, came and lived among us, I find that so amazing that God Himself said "i'm gonna step down from my kingdom and see how my people live" While here He lived a perfect life, was tempted in every way that we are today but never once did He sin. He knew what He was called to do, He was here to die for us. I think we forget how painful is actually was: maybe because we didnt witness it...  above is a vid that explains it.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I know that I sin everyday... it hurts me that I do it. It bothers me, I know that He will heal me, I just have to wait for Him to do it... I believe that He has gotten me halfway... but there is still the other side. I know I am dirty on the inside sometimes and I am but filthy rags before Him, nothing I do on my own can I get to Him, its only by His grace and mercy that I am here typing and am alive today... I have come a long way and I credit it all to Him but Im still not where I would like to be. A time in my life God was not apart of my life... and I just did my own thing, it pains me every time I think about it but Im thankful so much for grace without it I am nothing.. You are never alone.. He is still there.. seek Him out He will rock you like He did me.

The Changing of Times...

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the Gospel. <--- I love that. :)

This week has been stressful but yet a blessing. The past two days I have had the opportunity to talk to two friends and encourage them. Yesterday at dinner I sat with one of my friends and we talked. I asked how her and the Lord were doing, she said they were working on it. We talked for a while and I invited her to church with me on Sunday and I set her up with some new music.. I always like to be there and encourage others who may be in need or struggling in their faith. I know how that is because I have been there myself.. I was once alone, with no one, dealing with things in my life. It's only by Gods grace that I am who I am today... its my hope and prayer that God will lead me to individuals that are in need. Today, a girl in my art class, I was just commenting on how I liked her work, and the Lord led me into that conversation.. I shared a little of my story with her and how im learning to stand on my own two feet and walk. I told her that it would take some time but keep persuing Him and He will work it out. I've gotten done with 2 of my exams this week, only one tomm. I have a drawing thats due for in class tomm, I wasted a whole class and didnt get anywhere but thats okay He will work it out for me. I am so greatful to have a Savior that loves me and cares about whats going on in my life. 

You were made to Worship.

Music- a way of "dealing" with things in the world. It is our method of escape in tough times. When we dont feel good or we just having an off day, we pop in the headphones and immediately feel better, at least in my case. Tonight was an excellent way for me to show this. 

I am in the worship band at my church, for our college ministry. I play the guitar and and sing. Tonight we had one of many rehersals that we do, so we can plan out the weeks songs, see how they sound together and catch up with fellow members. We usually pray and worship in the time, its our way of saying "We want You Jesus, come" tonight we worshiped to Hillsong and we voiced a couple prayers for the Lord to use us and to help us remain focused. I felt the Lord lead me to read my bible during part of that time, He led me to the book of Psalms the 98th chapter:

Sing to the LORD a new song,
   for he has done marvelous things;
his right hand and his holy arm    have worked salvation for him.
² The LORD has made his salvation known    and revealed his righteousness to the nations.
³ He has remembered his love
   and his faithfulness to Israel;
all the ends of the earth have seen
   the salvation of our God.

            Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, 

 burst into jubilant  song with music;
⁵  make music to the LORD with the harp,
   with the harp and the sound of singing,
⁶ with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—
   shout for joy before the LORD, the King.

 ⁷ Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
   the world, and all who live in it.
⁸ Let the rivers clap their hands,
   let the mountains sing together for joy;
⁹ let them sing before the LORD,
   for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness
   and the peoples with equity.

I just prayed that and I felt the spirit there after reading through it. I began to get emotional, I'm usually not a sad person, but just being in front of royalty made me emotional and it made me fall on my face, that was one of the most awesome parts on my worship. My friend prayed for me too and I almost lost it, but my point is that God loved us so much that He died for us, me and you, past,present and forever will He love mankind, because we are His creation. Why couldnt you not worship someone like that? The God of thuniverse wants to know you and see you more on a personal level, why dont u trust Him.

Dream from a while back

I had the weirdest of dreams yesterday, after going to bed pretty late from watching a movie. I was in a place, I cant really remember where I was. I remember that I was running from this lady... all I remember was that she was trying to kill me, I dont understand why she wanted to kill me but everytime she got near or close to me I somehow fled her. Like I would hide from her and she was never able to find me.

"When anixeity was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:19.

I woke up yesterday before church, my heart racing, I didnt understand why it was doing that. I immed. got up and did what I needed to do to get ready for service. People that I talked to asked me if I prayed about it or not and I said that I hadn't. I talked to a friend and he said it was def. spiritual warefare. I had not felt that before, or at least not noticed it before. After talking it out, I think the woman was representing the devil, and I was running away fleeing him. When I would disappear from him and appear to another place, I feel that God was there, He was covering me, thats why he could never never see me. He is so mighty to save. I am so thankful for a God that protects.

Who are u living for?

This past weekend was CO men's retreat, it was good to get away from the world and just be with men that are living for the same thing that you are living for. The talks really got to me especially the one about who am I really living for.

In Matthew 4:17-22 Jesus calls the first disciples. He expected and knew that they would follow Him. "come follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." I believe He gives us the same calling.. come He says and I will make u fishers unto the nations unto the world. Seems easy right... Yur thinking oh yea sign me up. As easy as that may seem... It's hard. We can't go through life on our own... We need Christ. Were prideful beings and we "like" to think were our own Gods but were not. We can't live life on our own.. We need to know that we have a creator that is there to help us along the way. I struggle with giving Him control sometimes. It is a pride thing that I have to be broken of. Christ promises us a new body and in my case a new man with new ambitions and wants. He gives us a new message. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states that we are no longer have a ticket to hell but we have a new opportunity in Christ to live free of self and complete trust in Him. This message hit me...

Then again on Tuesday the same message was brought again to me and everyone, the devil tries to tell us that we have it all.that we don't need the Lord, that we can be our own king, not caring what the Lord says. You ask me on Tuesday night if I was living for the Lord. I would
say not whole heartily. There were things that I had not given fully over to him. Like my sexual past,my struggles, etc. He expects all of my life and I'm sitting there knowing I haven't give in Him my all, at that moment I was following a king of hopelessness. I would not even call him a king, a cheap low person that has not gotten anywhere in life. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Help me just to hold on for the ride.