Overwhealmed

There are times when I get fustrated. Times where I get hopless, feeling as if there is nothing that can help me. Last night I was reminded that He is there for me. Once a month at my church we have a prayer service called 'FLAME'. Its a time to get encouragement and just a time to worship God. I look forward to it every month. Anyway there was a common theme with me: Remember who Lives inside you. Sometimes I forget or fail to acknowledge that God lives inside me. I hate to say that about myself, but I'd be lying to ya if I didnt tell you the truth.

School has started back up, I'm back down to five classes. two less then last semester: two words: THANK GOD. I praise Him for getting me through that crazy semester. I dont know why, but when I get overwhelmed I tend not to have a good day and things fall apart from there. One of my friends brought me back to the realization that God has already won the war, and we both know how it ends, buts its fighting these little "daily battles" that I tend to fail at. I thought about that for a while and I just sat there in awe and was thinking to myself DUH. It was a huge slap in the face, I felt stupid.. Here I am worried about these little battles that I should know how it ends.

The Bible states that after the thousand year reign of Christ, the antichrist who was locked up after the seven year tribulation period is finally released to reek havoc on the world. You think God will sit back and let him do that? HECK NO!!!! Scripture says that He will cast him(satan) into the lake of fire and there He will perish. I dont know about you but that makes me wanna jump. Ha! But even better the devil lost his bout on the cross of Christ. When Jesus spread His arms open, IT WAS ALL OVER!!! 

Even as I was typing this I got a slap in the face, its time for me to stop being so stupid and abusing grace. I hate that, sometimes I feel as if I abuse the love that Christ gives to me, but I know that He loved me enough to spread his arms and embrace me. I'm thankful for that even when I'm turning away from Christ to live for myself. It pains me now as I type this. Christ: break my heart. Draw me close, bring me back.

Healings

I just recently got back from a new years conference in Chattanooga,TN. Im listening to the talks online. I am re listening to the men's talk with Piper. One of the quotes that he said was if you have given up, given your life over to something in 2011. He said:

"If you have messed up in 2011, GOD will have YOU back in 2012.

WOW, what a statement and how much it applies to my life. In 2011, I made several steps in my walk with Christ, you can read my previous blog for that. Midway through the year I started slipping back, and I fell off the rock. I slid down to the very bottom, I thought that I was without hope, but after hearing this talk... Piper spoke to me, through God. Far to often do I feel bad about myself, I dont ever think I'm good enough. I know that on my own I wont get anywhere but in CHRIST I am made A!ive. Christ's blood made me clean, He paid my sin debt, I take that for granted SO MUCH. We all do. I thought that I was alone, helpless, a lost cause but God rescued me in the right time when I was about to give up myself.

Through Him: I'm learning to cope with my past... and it's my prayer that I'm used to tell my story to someone who is in the same boat I was in. I know that I WILL NEVER GO BACK to where I was.

If I have to I'll fight.

I'm in the process of being Healed, my scars run deep but I know that slowly they will be healed.. to know that He invites me back in gives my heart a jump. Im grateful for grace

Things I did and my Mission

In 2011 I...

• De-decicated my life back to Christ. :)
• Made it through my first year at UNC- Greensboro
• Went on a mission trip to NYC with Cru, only being called to switch ministries right after.. oops
• Started attending Campus Outreach aka '805' in March, immed. fell in love and knew that I was in the right place/
• Started attending Chruch at Piedmont International Church in Greensboro, and as well as getting involed with Encounter.
• Attended a few Bible Studies
• Saw a hall mate come to know Christ last year after praying for Him all year
• Went to my first ever Summer Beach Project with CO.
• lived in SC for 2 months of the year.
• Shared my faith publically for the first time on the beach with complete strangers.
• Grew alot in my faith than EVER before.
• Worked my first 'real' job
• Became a Sophomore
• Helped students move in with ECM and CO
• Dorm-Storm- our way of getting the word out about CO meeting, meetings grew this semester thanks to that.
• went to Men's retreat and did manly things
• Went to National Conference and partied till I was purple that night with people that had the same morals as I did.
• Saw the 116 guys multiple times.

2012.. I look forward to this year and all the things that happen.

Lord, have your hand on this year. May we grow as a ministry as well as individuals in you. I pray for our ministry CO at UNCG, I pray you have Your way in 2012 with us. Let us go take the gospel to campus so that from Spring Garden Apartments to Phillips-Hawkins, the Gospel will be proclaimed. Equip us. Teach us. Instruct us. Show us Yourself.

I pray for my own personal ministry this year. I know you want me to do amazing things this year. I pray that You would have your way with me. I pray that if it involves leading others that you would equip me, give me a passion to reach out to others especially younger men that I can lead and show them the grace and satisfaction that is found in Christ. I pray that You would be at the center, that I would go harder for the sake of the Gospel this year. No more lukewarm for Matt Cook baby.. set and based in Christ. Never had it better. Thanks for bringing me back. I love You Father.